Anyways.....

Well, I am sitting here at the kitchen table, after having the "bankruptcy or foreclosure," discussion with my husband, and I am supposed to be working on my autobiography for my massage school application. (I will get back to that later!)
Honestly, I could care less about filing for Bankruptcy. Ideally, I think it is better for us and our situation, than being foreclosed on. We have been fighting an uphill battle for quite awhile, and have been able to, at some points stay on dry land (meaning with money to spare), and others, like now, barely being able to stay afloat.
However, as cheesy as it sounds to me, I have never been happier! Even with ALL the family drama that we are dealing with lately, I, along with my family, and my relationship with my husband, AND children, has never been better!!
This move has definitely not been good for us financially, but physically, emotionally, and spiritually, it has been cleansing! I really do miss my friends in Alaska (all 2 of them!), but I am so happy here, despite the ridiculously hot weather that I thought was going to literally kill me!
For years, I have been struggling with anxiety, depression, crappy self-esteem, weight and especially my relationship with my husband. Being down here we have had to make so many life changing decisions, and roll with so many punches, and SLOW DOWN enough to enjoy life and the little things, and have learned to live without. I think that is an issue that is nationwide at the present time, and really I did not perceive as an issue until I have had to experience it myself.
 I, like many other Americans, worked to live, and lived to work. Maybe not realizing it, but really, we do. We do, because we want things! All things are not bad, but seriously, they are just things! Yes, yes, I know, "How do I have room to talk?"Well, really I don't except that I am speaking from experience, and from the heart. While I have not yet really told anyone about this blog, and not sure if I will (although someone could possibly "stumble" across it, I at least hope that something that I say could help or influence at least one person. (Corn ball!!) Some things I can be so incredibly passionate about (animals, social justice, total equality, world peace, to name a few), and these things tend to get skipped over, and pushed to the side alot this day and age.
    This past weekend, my husband, the two boys, the two dogs, and I all went to Corinth/Michie, to see my husband's Aunt J. It was incredible!! It really made me feel at home, the "home" that I remember as a kid. As a child, I grew up in a very small (pop. 20,000) country town. Where you literally couldn't get away with anything, but someone who knew you parents was bound to see you and tattle!! But there were so many things about that small town life that I really missed, and some of them I didn't realize I missed until I moved back to the South. Things like, everyone being incredibly nice, example: we have started #1 in Boy Scouts, and all the parents there were so nice, and one even immediately volunteered to pick him up or drop him off anytime we needed him to! He was a very nice man, older gentleman, whom I overheard him saying that he was merely doing someone a favor, and ended up with a son! His, now youngest son, JJ, is in #1's 2nd grade class. This same gentleman has grandchildren (from his other 3,  much older) children, that are JJ's age!! I know, maybe that was TMI, but he was such an interesting man, and so nice, that I thought he deserved a little more explanation. I know it sounds like I am overly excited about these parents, but if you only knew how not nice, most of the hockey parents were in Alaska, you would totally understand. We never knew anything that was going on in his league, or with his team and coach, and never were called or talked to, unless they needed volunteers to run the concession stands, which also is stupid, because you have to pay nearly $300 just for them to play hockey for a few months, you think that would be plenty! In the words of the bankruptcy lawyer that my husband talked to today, "you can't squeeze blood from a turnip!" Which while we lived in Alaska, time was something we never had extra of.

Ya know, I really wish that I could remember to do this every night, so that I didn't write such long posts. But giving myself a break, not being too hard on myself (cause I usually really am), at least I am writing! Since the move, I have really changed a lot of my outlooks, and ways that I do things. One of those things is that I give myself a fair shot at things, and stop setting myself up for failure. I am so notorious for doing it, and it is a lot of times done unconsciously, but I am trying to combat it, and have done a pretty good job. I also find, that if I don't beat myself up over little things, then I am more likely to go back and try to do them again, or do them better.  One example is running, and the other is eating right, and then of course blogging. I do the very best I can, and as long as I know that, I am continuing to do the things I want to do, and I am improving on them everyday.
RUNNING:
 Well, I have not ran for the past 4 days, but I still feel great, and I know that I will get up and run tomorrow. I know that I am trying, and life is too short for me to sit as stew over the fact that my lazy a$$ didn't get up and run this morning. I also am easing my way into things, and giving myself plenty of healing time in between increases and changes in my fitness and nutrition plans. I have to due to the infinite amount of problems and pains that I have to go thru attributed to my military injuries/ disabilities.
EATING HEALTHY:
 Like I said, I am enjoying life, learning how to eat better, learning how to be a good role model, nutrition wise, for my children, and I am loving it! When you make it fun, it is easier to do, and I actually want to do it!
BLOGGING:
 Well......  you decide!

So, anyways..... (as the title states) the real reason that I am "making" the time to blog, is the fact that I am supposed to be working on my autobiography for massage school. School starts September 12, and I still haven't finished getting my application packet in! PROCRASTINATOR!!!!
Yes, this is something that I may never change about myself, but... I know it's there, and I do try to not procrastinate when it comes to the very important things.
Although this application should be a priority on my agenda right now, I am still "stalling," because deep down I know 2 things: 1.) I have already done the hard part, which is get things in line with the VA, so that I get paid, and 2.) I know that I work better under pressure! My husband says that I don't necessarily work "better" under pressure, but I ONLY work under pressure. Either way, like I said, I know it is there, and I am trying to address it accordingly.
 Well, I am gonna go for now.......